Breathe Me
by ceointraining
Summary: Bella Swan has it all: amazing career, loving family incredible friends. She's a life saver on the outside, but on the inside, pain and guilt rip her apart. What happens when her past comes back to haunt her? DocElla & DILFWard
1. Chapter 1

**I'm baaaack!**

**Starting these stories from chapter 1 with a quick run through to ensure everything makes sense (5 years later, my grammar and writing skills have improved... or at least I think so.**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of everything and anything Twilight related. I just do this for a little bit of fun.**

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_I've failed again…_

Each step dragged behind the other as I walked out of the hospital waiting room, and with each step my heart tore as that one thought ran through my mind over and over again.

_I've failed again._

_I've failed again._

_I've failed again._

This vicious, never ending cycle of failure and loss would never leave me. I was always bound to death and losing the ones I loved.

I was numb – there was no pain, no grief, nothing. The usual hospital smell that I'd grown so accustomed to throughout the years was now causing unwelcome bile to arise. The stares of my colleagues thought nothing of, hushed whispers easily forgotten. Instead, I was stunned into a searing silence other than the pounding of my heart.

Mine shouldn't have been the one still beating.

I should've done better.

_I've failed again._

The moment my office door was closed behind me, a sharp gasp erupted from my chest, my knees buckled and my hands flew to my desk to save me from my fall. My skin, from my toes to the tips of my very fingers, tingling as the fight against my consciousness grew stronger every moment. I tried to fight the darkness as it battled to engulf me within its arms but I was no match. My fight was gone already.

I could hear someone calling my name from behind me, the sound of my office door closing again resonating in my ears. Gathering whatever strength I could, I blindly turned towards the familiar voice and struggled to lift my head but the darkness had already taken its victim.

My mind had already shut itself off as I uttered my last words before surrendering to the engulfing darkness.

"I've failed again. He's gone."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks everyone for joining me back on the new page! I'll be uploading the already written chapters once they've been skimmed when I can with new chapters being uploaded hopefully weekly if not biweekly. They may not all be as long as the first chapters, but will be written regardless :)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight.**

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"_Paging Dr. Swan to the children's ward front desk, please. Dr. Swan to the children's ward front desk."_

I knew many doctors that cringed when their name was called. Not that I could blame them – not everyone enjoyed their careers, but I wasn't part of that group.

I loved my job.

Becoming a pediatrician was my calling – the reason for my being, you could say. My entire passion for life stemmed with my career and being able to make a real genuine difference.

I suppose it all started back in my hometown of Forks, Washington. Growing up in a small town was a little rough – everyone knew everyone, and if you started off in Forks you probably ended in Forks too. My father, Charlie, was Chief of Police, and because of that, my mother Renee and I had grown accustomed to hearing more about others than was normal. Small town gossip, right? God forbid you even get involved with breaking any law, that was your worst nightmare. Even in my younger days, I knew I couldn't be happy living the same life that my parents had – Forks was never for me. I was destined for bigger things and dreamed of the city life. Everything I did was always about living the dream.

Funny thing was, I never knew what my 'dream' was.

I didn't want something that became just a job – I wanted a real career where what I did could make a difference somehow, whether it be to one person or to a crowd.

That problem was solved when my teenage days came around, and so began the time to find my first job. Unfortunately for me, Forks was a small town with even smaller opportunities. Endless searching and applying brought me nothing, until I was approached by a neighbour one afternoon. Mrs. Crowley was clearly in a rush, looking extremely frazzled as she banged on our front door and practically begged me to watch her daughter for a couple of hours while she went out of town for an emergency.

Those couple of hours eventually turned into regular weekly babysitting appointments after we both realized how good I was with three year old Stacy. Apparently she was a bit of a demon child and other known babysitters in town always steered away from her, but Stacy had taken a pretty good liking to me. It was only a few months later when I found myself regularly babysitting about a dozen children in Forks. It all just came naturally to me, and I took advantage of my natural born 'talent'.

It was then that I found my dream.

_Children._

I was a strong believer that children were the future of our world, and we should do everything in our power to keep them safe. I could still remember watching the news when I was younger and my parents finding me sobbing as I tried to understand why the poor children in those third world countries had to face such hardships. My brother Emmett took up that job by trying to help me understand in the simplest way he could.

It was extraordinary for someone as large as Emmett to have an even larger heart, but I always believed that God had worked harder on my brother than he did on others. Emmett was perfect in every way. He took up the 'protective brother' role extremely well though there was only a two year gap between us, and I remember wanting to pummel him sometimes for it, but absolutely beaming when he engulfed me in his huge bear hugs. His deep dimples and soft blue-grey eyes were a plus to his humorous personality, and he had no trouble getting those around him to effortlessly fall in love with him. Emmett had a charming personality and wouldn't hurt a fly – unless that fly hurt his baby sister.

A baby sister that was _way_ too protective of her big brother.

I could still remember the girls I had scared off, them running away in tears, when they showed any interest in Emmett. Any girl who did not prove herself worthy to me wasn't worth Emmett's time in his eyes either. I could still remember his reaction every time another girl would cower away and run off.

"_Baby Bell, why would I want to spend my time with a girl like that?" he always asked, pushing back a stray tendril of hair behind my ear. "If she doesn't love my baby sister as much as I do, then she's not worth it. You're more important to me than any other girl."_

Those words were the only thing that reassured me I was doing the right thing for him. I wasn't trying to be controlling or acting like a bratty little sister, I just didn't want my brother to be alone. I wanted him to be happy and for him to have the 'perfect' girl.

That's where Rosalie Hale comes in.

She was blonde, stunning, curvy in ways every woman would envy, and a spitfire of a woman. She always managed to counter my sneaky tactics with her own cunning ones. My plans on getting her to break were pointless. The first night I tried, Emmett had left us both staring daggers at each other to grab dinner. I can clearly recall looking around the kitchen as we sat at our table as I was deciding which perfect plan to let loose on her, as well as Emmett's shocked face when he came back to the two of us painting each other's nails and giggling like school girls. The rest, as they say, was history.

They had started dating in their senior year of high school, and were now happily married and living near me in Seattle. They had just moved a few months before and I couldn't have been happier knowing my brother and his family were only minutes away from me. Then again, I was pretty sure my nieces were even happier knowing they could come see their Aunt Bella whenever they wanted.

After a few years of broken hearts and painful tears, Rosalie had finally found out she was pregnant. Her fertility had always been an issue – they'd found out shortly after their wedding that Rosalie was not as fortunate as other women when it came to bearing children. We always made sure to be careful of her feelings when necessary, but I knew Rosalie's heart was breaking because she couldn't bear Emmett a child. The fact that their love was completely unbreakable kept their heads up and it motivated them to keep trying, which is what finally brought my adorable twin nieces into our lives.

Olivia and Sophia were gorgeous little three going on thirteen-year olds who were the light of both Emmett and Rosalie's lives. They were alike in almost every single way – wavy blonde hair, ivory skin and lovable faces. The one way that could tell them apart immediately was that they didn't share the same eye colour – Olivia's were blue like Emmett's, while Sophia shared Rosalie's hazel eyes. And when you got to know the girls, you could tell them apart from their mannerisms. Where Sophia was a mischievous, energetic and sometimes assertive child, Olivia was quiet, timid and extremely sensitive.

The support from my parents, brother and Rosalie kept me striving for my own success and kept my dream alive. Tears, anger, frustration and endless amounts of stress were worth it for my dream to finally be in my hands.

Now, at the age of twenty-eight, I was head of the Pediatric Ward at Seattle General Hospital.

Unsurprisingly, my promotion had come as a shock to many, and had caused quite a bit of an uproar with some. I couldn't have cared less about the drama that came from promoting a young woman to such a high stature. Hell, I worked hard to get my doctoral – graduating early in accelerated programs both in high school and in college wasn't an easy feat. Despite attempts by my opposition, my dedication shined, and though I still faced many of those harsh individuals on a daily basis, it never deterred me from my goal. I knew what I wanted and I knew what I was there for, so there was no way I wasn't going down without a fight. And I never did. Not only that, but I had one faithful person by my side who always fought just as hard as I did.

The phrase "you learn from the best" thoroughly affected my life and career when it came to Carlisle Cullen.

I met Carlisle when I first began my internship at Seattle General. He was the chief surgeon on staff at the hospital and from the very first day I'd tripped over my feet and into his office, it was an instant, treasured relationship. He was another father-like figure for me, which really benefited me when the homesickness kicked in. Carlisle and his wife Esme always had their doors open for me whenever I needed it, and even when I didn't. Being the very family-oriented person I was, it was one of the main reasons why I kept on pushing. There were times when the stress was basically eating me alive – both at home and with school. There were times where I wanted to just drop out and go back home to my parents so badly, but it was Carlisle and Esme who pulled me back to reality when I had almost grabbed my luggage. I couldn't bring myself to unload on my parents after how hard they'd worked, helping me financially to get through all of my education. I dropped more emotional baggage than I should have on Carlisle and Esme, but they never once complained. They were welcoming, warmhearted and more loving than any person could have ever wished for.

It was for those reasons that it wasn't surprising whatsoever when their children were just as amazing.

"Bella!" _Ah, speak of the devil._ I smiled widely as my pixie-like best friend came into view.

Alice Cullen was the petite, raven-haired and insanely beautiful best friend of mine who constantly kept me on my toes, and I couldn't have loved her any more for it. We'd met the very first time I had gone to the Cullen's house for dinner, and I could tell that we were going to be very good friends. Well, the fact that Alice told me as much immediately after introducing herself helped me come to that conclusion.

"Hey Shortie!" I giggled when she playfully smacked my arm at my teasing nickname for her. "What are you doing here?"

In that very instant, I could tell that something was wrong. The usually vibrant Alice Cullen looked emotionally drained, dark circles under her emerald green eyes and wearing clothes that on a normal day would never have been Alice approved. Jeans and Alice Cullen didn't quite go together very well.

"Can't I come by and see my best friend?" Alice teased and smirked, but I knew when she was trying to cover her feelings. I raised a questioning eyebrow and grew worried when an upset sigh left her lips. "I'm sorry, I know you hate when I do that. Truth is, I did come here to see you but not for the reason you're thinking. I need a favour."

My smile immediately dropped. "Alice, you know I'd do anything for you. Tell me what you need and I'm on it."

As she gazed at me, I could feel my heart breaking for her as pain and sorrow filled her eyes. They glistened with unshed tears and a broken sob left her lips.

"Bella, please. I need you to save my niece."


End file.
